While you personally think you might have a good handle on money, marriage can complicate things a bit. What happens if your spouse has a completely different mindset towards money than you do? It can really spell disaster for your marriage. But most people don’t often see it as a challenge. They think having two incomes will make life easier. Not necessarily!
Elle from Couple Money, a finance blog she writes with her husband, also thought it would be a great thing for her finances. She learned a huge lesson very quickly. It turns out she was the big spender and her husband was a saver. It was a crash course for both of them to create a plan they could both get behind.
“Very quickly we discovered we had different ideas on money!” she says. “I came from a background where if you can afford the payments, you were good. My husband was much more conservative and cautious with money.”
Coming together to create a plan was ultimately in the best interest of their marriage. It even allowed them to save up a bit of money for a rainy-day fund. They actually took the time to communicate about their spending and work on a compromise. Sadly, many couples do not have that same level of communication when it comes to money.
Marriage and Money
There’s no doubt that two incomes are better than one, but that statistical advantage doesn’t matter if a couple can’t agree financially. 36% of couples say that their biggest stressor is money. This is according to a 2018 study from Ally Bank. Only 17% and 13% of people said health and family are their biggest stressors.
A lot of the problem, again, comes down to miscommunication. Engagements are a great time that involve a lot of planning. How many couples undergo financial counseling? Do they even talk about money or just make a bunch of assumptions about two incomes being better than one? It appears to be the later, as the number one cause of divorce in the U.S. is money.
According to another study from John Hancock, three-quarters of couples are actually confused and nervous about attempting to save money with their partner. 57% of people even try to avoid bringing up money on any time of monthly or weekly basis. They know it only leads to arguing and contention.
“Advance planning could provide a much-needed boost in financial security for those who unexpectedly end up alone at any phase of their lives,” says David Lynch, managing director for TD Ameritrade. “Considering divorce or the loss of a spouse is a smart addition to any long-term financial plan. It’s no different than planning for things like a major illness, disability or potential long-term care needs.”
